I am overwhelmed with sadness over the loss of my beloved niece, Dakota Torres-O’Callaghan. The shock of her passing still lingers, and it’s difficult to find words to fully express my grief. Just a few weeks ago, I was looking forward to celebrating her graduation from Sac State. Instead, I found myself attending her funeral.
Processing her loss has been incredibly challenging. Dakota was more than family; she was a bright light in my life. She often accompanied me to chess outings, listening patiently as my friend James Eade once said, “It doesn’t matter where you come from. It doesn’t matter what language you speak. If you play chess, you’re part of our community.” Her funeral reminded me that as chess players—and as human beings—we shouldn’t face life’s hardest struggles alone. Yet, I’ve lost friends, former students, and now my niece because they didn’t reach out for help.
If you’re struggling with thoughts of self-harm or other harmful behaviors, please know you are not alone. Reach out to someone—you don’t have to face this pain by yourself.
Personally, I will let you know if I need help. Right now, I am simply feeling overwhelmed with sadness—and that’s perfectly natural. One of my favorite people to share music and chess with is gone, and the ache is profound. But I hold onto the hope that by sharing my grief, I can honor Dakota’s memory and remind others of the importance of seeking support when needed.