Recently, I revisited a blog post entitled “The Importance of Setting Lofty Goals in Chess.” While previously, I stressed the importance of setting lofty goals, I now want to speak of the dangers of having unrealistic goals.
As a coach I like to separate expectations from goals. Every great chess player I have coached had high expectations and lofty goals. Together, high expectations and lofty goals can be a powerful combination. But, chess parents need to have open conversations with their child to quickly catch unrealistic goals before they can harm a child’s enjoyment of chess.
I explain to my students that is important to have high expectations for oneself. High expectations in chess are based around aspects of our chess that we can fully control. This includes studying hard to improve our knowledge, behaving as a professional at chess competitions and diligently working through our thought processes before every move at the chessboard. Having high expectations for yourself and then putting in the effort to meet them has a positive impact on your confidence and performance.
I also assist my students in setting lofty goals and then breaking these goals up into attainable steps. If a child’s goal is to appear on the top 100 list for their age group, we can create a multi step process for attaining this goal. With each successful step along the way, a child feels successful.
Unrealistic goals are different than lofty goals in that unrealistic goals are or are close to being unattainable. An example of an unrealistic goal is when a young adult beginner wishes to become a Grandmaster. The chances of becoming a Grandmaster for such a player is close to zero. Unless this player changes their mindset, they will fail to make enough progress to satisfy their unrealistic goal and quit chess. Quitting chess all together from the effects of unrealistic goals is all too common and especially tragic in the world of scholastic chess.
As a chess coach, quickly identifying if my students have unrealistic goals is of paramount importance. For chess parents, I recommend paying attention to your child’s behavior at chess tournaments. If your child regularly walks away from chess tournaments feeling inadequate they probably have unrealistic goals that need to be addressed. Furthermore, if you hear them consistently stating that they didn’t play good enough, they are using what I term “statements of failure.” Recurring statements of failure means that your child feels like a failure and that they are harboring unrealistic goals. Left unaddressed, the sustained pressure of unrealistic goals will result in a loss of passion for chess.
Lofty goals and high expectations can be a powerful combination to drive chess improvement. However, parents and coaches need to be vigilant to monitor for signs of unrealistic goals to keep a child from feeling like a failure. Being ambitious is an important trait for a young person but it’s up to the grownups in their life to make sure that a child’s goals remain lofty while not being unrealistic.